With my newfound commitment to blogging (for a few days anyway) it occurred to me that from time to time I would have write about my kids. From reading various other blogs it appears that the 'in thing' to do is give your children different names, aliases if you will, and seeing that I am really uncool and follow trends I will do the same.
So Gryphen shall hereby be known as Mr Paleontology because he loves dinosaurs. Mr Paleo for short because I sure as fuck am not going to be writing Mr Paleontwhatever when I could just write 'Gryphen'.
Why not Dinosaur Boy? I hear you ask. Well, in his last report it was stated that he likes to tell people the scientific names of animals so my thinking (other than wtf?) was that if he were to see his name as Dinosaur Boy in print he would immediately say, "But Mum, they're really called Paleontologists." And it would have to be Man anyway rather than Boy as he may be stuck with the moniker for quite some time. He may not realise the name only pertains to him and as he is also quite PC he would very likely point out that women too study dinosaurs (I didn't want to write paleothingy again) so it would be wrong to write 'man' instead of 'person'. To which my answer would be "I have seen Jurassic Park so I did notice that Laura Dern was the one sticking her hand in Triceratops poo!"
Anyway, the point is I don't wish to look like a tool.
Jasper's new name is Mr Maker because he likes to make things, funnily enough and he likes Mister Maker. Notice that the 'real' Mister Maker spells it with the full "Mister' not 'Mr' so don't come at me with that copyright bullshit.
In case you're wondering, in five years time when he says, "Mum, why did you name me after some guy I liked in preschool when I'm now ten? That sobriquet is like, soooo lame." ? I would reply "Should you not still be called 'Mr'?" to which he will obviously answer, "yes." And then I would say "Do you still make stuff?" and I know the answer to that would also be 'yes' as he would still be at school in Grade 4 and I'm pretty sure they make things at least until Grade 5 in which case I have an extra year to make up a new name.
Finally we have Evil-Insolent-Naughty-Spawn-Of-Satan. Otherwise known as Einsos which has a Greek God ring to it. Or we can call him Kynan. Or Mr Comedy. I don't know why.
Finally, a blog alias would not be complete without a suitable name for my husband. How about Mr Xbox, because... you get the picture.
So although my family sound like extras from Reservoir Dogs you will now know who I am talking about!