(There is swearing in this, so if you are sensitive to such things I suggest you do not read any further. But if that is the case, why are you on my blog?)
I've taken this from a previous post as I thought it was a good introduction to my family who in all likelihood will be a major topic of this blog:
From reading various other blogs it appears that the 'in thing' to do
is give your children different names, aliases if you will, and seeing
that I am really uncool and follow trends I will do the same.
So G (born 2002) shall hereby be known as Mr Paleontology because he loves
dinosaurs. Mr Paleo for short because I sure as fuck am not going to be
writing Mr Paleontwhatever when I could just write 'G'.
Why not Dinosaur Boy? I hear you ask. Well, in his last report it was
stated that he likes to tell people the scientific names of animals so
my thinking (other than wtf?) was that if he were to see his name as
Dinosaur Boy in print he would immediately say, "But Mum, they're really
called Paleontologists." And it would have to be Man anyway rather
than Boy as he may be stuck with the moniker for quite some time. He
may not realise the name only pertains to him and as he is also quite PC
he would very likely point out that women too study dinosaurs (I
didn't want to write paleothingy again) so it would be wrong to write
'man' instead of 'person'. To which my answer would be "I have seen
Jurassic Park so I did notice that Laura Dern was the one sticking her
hand in Triceratops poo!"
Anyway, the point is I don't wish to look like a tool.
'J''s (born 2005) new name is Mr Maker because he likes to make things, funnily
enough and he likes Mister Maker. Notice that the 'real' Mister Maker
spells it with the full "Mister' not 'Mr' so don't come at me with that
In case you're wondering, in five years time when he says, "Mum, why did
you name me after some guy I liked in preschool when I'm now ten? That
sobriquet is like, soooo lame." ? I would reply "Should you not still
be called 'Mr'?" to which he will obviously answer, "yes." And then I
would say "Do you still make stuff?" and I know the answer to that would
also be 'yes' as he would still be at school in Grade 4 and I'm pretty
sure they make things at least until Grade 5 in which case I have an
extra year to make up a new name.
Finally we have Evil-Insolent-Naughty-Spawn-Of-Satan. Otherwise known
as Einsos which has a Greek God ring to it. Or we can call him 'K' (born 2007).
Or Mr Comedy. I don't know why.
An example of his exploits can be found here
Finally, a blog alias would not be complete without a suitable name for
my husband. How about Mr Xbox, because... you get the picture.
So although my family sound like extras from Reservoir Dogs you will now know who I am talking about!